Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I want to leave a legacy

The thing that death always brings up for me (in addition to my own mortality) is the imprint that I will leave behind.
I know only to well that there is negative legacies. Legacies of deceit, manipulation, theft abound. I spent a great deal of time loathing those legacies, yet walking that way as well. It is still difficult for me to not spend a great deal of time loathing the legacy, or the people that left them.
What I do instead is try to understand the imprint I leave in the lives that I touch. In every interaction I (and all of us) have an opportunity to lift up or tear down, to help or to hurt. It may seem like there are ways to interact with people that you don't leave a mark, but I don't really think there are. Even in the most casual of contact, in the drive thru, on the highway, you can either be gracious, patient, kind, or you can be rude, unyielding, and downright cruel.
I wandered around for years in my own little bubble, and it was those times that people reached out and were kinder then they needed to be that saved my life. These are people that may never understand what they did for me.
So you never know when the smallest kindness will save a life, or help someone out of a funk, or keep them from drowning in despair.
When someone dies, and I know them, or know someone that is affected by it....it reaffirms the need for more kindness and patience, because that's the legacy I want to leave behind.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

First of all, I now have the song "Legacy" stuck in my head. Nicole Nordeman, maybe? Not sure.

I agree that all our contact with people leaves a mark, for better or worse. Sometimes I try to be nicer to people than they "deserve" just cause I know it will pinch them a little in the ole' comfort zone.

One thing I like to do, from time to time, is when someone in front of me in line at a store, restaurant or whatever is excessively rude or mean to the employee, is go out of my way to try and make it "better". Kiss the boo-boo, if you will.

They just got dragged through the dirt by some random idiot while they were just trying to do their job. Pick them up and dust them off!!! It could be the beginning of their shift and set the tone for their whole day when someone is mean, and then they'll be moody to the rest of their customers, who'll take it out on the other drivers on the way home, who'll take it out on their kids, etc.

Stop it before it starts. The best time to compliment someone is when they just got put down. Re-affirm their worth, in whatever way you can.

Make them laugh.

Tell them you're proud of them for controlling themselves in a crappy situation!

ellenjane said...

yup, it's Nichole Nordeman...