Not profound, they're just words

I don't have any profound words, just words.
When you are pulled between two friends you need to set boundaries. Maybe a little allotment for the inevitable vengeance and waffling, but then put your foot down.
If you figure out how to do that then tell me.

As far as the vengeance issue, I can't speak to what this 22 y/o is going through, but I have clung to and reluctantly let go of so many grudges I can't even remember them all. The words I would try to speak into this woman's life is are those of forgiveness. They share a kid. They will be tied to each other for better or worse even if they get a piece of paper that says they're divorced.
Holding a grudge is like her choosing to carry around her husbands dead body every where she goes. It weighs you down and changes the shape of who you are.
It has taken me so many years to let it go. Some days I try to pick back up the grudges that I've laid down, some days I do. But every time I lay them down I stand taller and walk straighter and just feel better.
Forgiveness sucks most of the time. Because vengeance (temporarily) feels so much more satisfying.
But as I'm sure the 22 y/o is finding, it's just never enough. It will never be enough.